Everything has a cost--even independence. (Cathy, thank for you understanding my intentions for leaving her in the nursery!) After an entire winter free of sickness, we woke up Monday with the beginning of a runny nose. By Tuesday it was quite obvious. By Wednesday, she was miserable enough that a pacifier was no longer an option. Of course I blame the nursery!
Who knows if any one of those kids was really sick. Maybe it's allergies. Maybe Britt brought it home from a school he's been in this week. It's really hard to tell. But the whole "experience" (if you could call a runny nose an experience) shows me just how little control I have.
Despite being my laid-back father's clone, I would definitely classify myself as a control freak. Most of my life, I have been overshadowed by bigger control freaks than myself. Only in the last few years has my freakishness really developed, as I've spent most of my time around significantly more laid-back persons than myself.
Motherhood has only intensified my inner control freak. But just when I thought I had control, the rug again gets pulled out from under me. I'm learning with every new day that I actually have very little control over anything. Drivers on the road. Lines at the grocery. Wait time at the doctor's office. Other people's runny noses.
Somebody told me once that I can only control so much. The rest is up to God. The teacher in me knows to approach motherhood this way: give them the tools to succeed, give them the opportunity to succeed, then give them to the world. Everything else is out of my control.
So next Sunday I will again leave her at the nursery. She will flirt with the boys, play with the girls, and in the process, gobble up all kinds of germs. But I'll be okay knowing that she's gaining some more independence, no matter the price.
